What do you do when everything in life seems to frustrate you??

My first instinct is to run, to start all over again. To scrap what is had in this life, and just start fresh. Fresh in the sense that outwardly I'm new, I'm pure- even if inwardly i'm scarred and bruised to a point where I no longer believe myself capable of repair.

I think that's it... I think what makes me want to run, is when I stop believing, and stop trusting that my world can be repaired. Dare I say, when I stop wanting my world, or some facet of my world to be repaired, and to be repaired in the presence of that which has harmed me.

I'm really beginning to wonder if it's true that "I'm moving on."

...May the onwards be towards and of you God, if this is true.

The truck died a couple of times today.
    I'm annoyed, frustrated, even mad about all the details of the situation. But amidst this sticky car situation i have come to find out a couple of things about myself and the perhaps the human condition.
 
1) I am indeed a very sinful person. So wrapped up in my worry about what to do, who to call in time of need, I fail to linger in conversation with the almighty God who solves all things. I am reminded of the passage found in Luke, and other gospels I think, which asks- who among us can add an our to their life by worrying?
  Sitting in the Mt. Irenaeus chapel this question was asked of my heart time and again, as I realized I only add anxiety to life, while sucking out peace with all this worrying.
  Oh God forgive me for my doubt, for my lack of dependence upon you. I love you Lord, but help me to love you more through trust and dependence.

2) Both the first and second times I was stopped people came along and attempted to help me. The second time in particular touched my heart. The truck had begun to sputter a bit on the road, so we pulled off to a gas station in Cuba. As I fiddled with it, a man walked up an asked some questions. He informed me that he was a retired mechanic as he began tinkering around under the hood. I thought it kind of him to try and help me out in this way. When the truck wouldn't start, he said sorry he couldn't help me out.

Then as Joy and I are deciding to give up on the truck after trying it again, a fellow asks if we're having problems. I said a mechanic tried to help, and he said that's what he does. So he began tinkering around under the hood. He explained to me some of what was taking place under the hood. I finally began to understand some of the issues taking place. He spent a good deal of time with us, perhaps over an hour. Labor wise that's worth like 60 bucks. He did somethings to it. He concluded what he thought the problem was. I told him some more information about the truck's history, and he thought the problem might even be worse than expected. He talked about how he was honest, how some people around there might not be honest, but he didn't want to lie. He told me to give up on the truck.

As straightforward and honest as he was, I felt great about the situation! As hard as the truth was, I loved it! His honesty and willingness to care, to bear with me through the situation gave me such a sense of things being ok.  He humbly said he didn't think he could even fix the problem. His kindness to me, and humility took the pain of anger out of the situation and helped me to be at peace about a great many things. I thank God for Chris and his kindness to me, and pray that too I blessed him just through the moments we shared in time.
Genuine kindness, humility, and care have perhaps left a greater mark my day than the bitterness of the ongoing truck-issues. Thank you God for Chris.

Humans can withstand much if only we realize that it is in aiding one another that we are able to do so.

I love God's creation, including humans this day! :)

God thank you for all of humankind, I pray that you will light my path and have me to be a helper as Chris has been to me. Lord thank you for how you have blessed Chris with a number of gifts, those of helper, mechanic, and genuineness. God thank you for touching me through his talents, for softening his heart in sharing his gifts so freely. God may I understand and live in such a way- giving my gifts away daily Lord. May I truly serve you by loving others with those things you have endowed me with.

To God be the glory.